This is a term that is often used and bandied around, yet it often comes without much substance. The reality is, the world out there is full of messages that are telling us to ‘be something’ and that our value and worth is based on our achievements or on what we look like.
So being yourself can be tricky in a world that encourages and stimulates us away from our natural and innate expression – like we see in younger children unhindered and untainted by the world at large. The reality is, we live in the world and whilst we can’t change the magnitude of what bombards us all day in and day out through the media, advertisements and ingrained societal ideals and beliefs, we can scale it right back and work with what’s in our own backyard – starting by nurturing the natural qualities and expression in our children.
Here are my top tips to support with this –
- Take the time to connect with your children. In the busyness of our current times it’s easy to forget the most valuable and sustainable medicine of all – the simplicity of connection. It doesn’t need to be elaborate and it doesn’t need to be about time. Quality over quantity always wins.
- Confirm kids for their qualities rather than focusing on accomplishments. This reinforces their knowing of who they are rather than what they do. When a child knows who they are and feels confident to be this in the world they will have this forever. If they value themselves on what they do, they will be in constant seeking of recognition to make themselves feel worthy and accepted. Confirming another’s qualities could be something like – ‘Wow, you really know how to light up the room’, ‘Gosh your hugs are just the best’, ‘Your honesty is very beautiful, I really love that about you’, ‘Thank you for saying what you feel’ etc…
- Work on your own connection with yourself. Value your qualities. When a child ‘feels’ someone truly valuing and appreciating themselves, they are much more likely to feel inspired to do this too. When words are just words they are empty, however our living reflection of those words is GOLD.
It’s so worth working on this and giving children the space to explore life from their own inner compass. This provides a foundation of being themselves that will support them for the rest of their lives.
By Sara Harris (First Aid & Well-being Officer)
Image taken from www.blogtalkradio.com